I Am A Giant Geek Because:

- These Yahoo! Search shortcuts get me tremendously excited (in a non-lewd manner)
- Do I really need any more reasons?
- Okay, one more.
- I watched The Matrix last night with the isolated score track on.
posted by Gray at 11:45 AM | | link

Aural Sect

Let's try something new. If you're so inclined, click the link below for a hearty slice of my college radio show, Wicked Slick Radio. If you actually snag the mp3 and listen to some or all of it, I'd really appreciate a comment or an email. Now, click below, and go get funky, you intrepid chairbound explorers of the unknown!

[ WSR - "Duel" - Segment 1 ]

NP :: Lou Donaldson - "Ode To Billy Joe"
posted by Gray at 6:21 PM | | link

Numerical

1) I have got to stop looking at this Friendster thing. I mean, really. Damnit.
2) Must visit courthouse. Again. ...and call Mississippi.
3) Must print out form to get the now-shady-in-my-eyes AIWA Corporation to reimburse me for repairs to my dad's old stereo. You know, since every CD player AIWA made for about 10 years is now a pile of crap...
4) Someone at Google, please call me. Someone named Salma, also please call me.

NP :: ...Trail Of Dead - "How Near How Far"
posted by Gray at 10:56 AM | | link

#^^$!

Aaaand, I've gone crosseyed...

NP :: "Sealab 2021"
posted by Gray at 12:48 AM | | link

!!!!!

MOUNTAIN DEW LIVE WIRE! Orange Dew! Gimme! Tomorrow, I will begin my search for this beverage.

update: Apparently, the punks at PepsiCo are making this for a mere three months this summer. They'd better hope that I don't become as dependent on this one as I have CODE RED. Things could get ugly. (picture Gray in apocalyptic-hoarding mode.)

Also of note, Sprite Remix-- coming soon!

NP :: Ian Moore - "Leary's Gate" (live at Smith's)
posted by Gray at 8:03 PM | | link

Sitting

I'm glad to be back in the Observatory/Command Center... the trip home was more complicated and frustrating than necessary, but at least we're all safe. Sis has a new(er) computer and a couple of other new 25th b-day presents, and I got to visit Sun Studios and see TWO IMAX movies! So that was cool. More words later.
posted by Gray at 12:06 AM | | link

Tech Support: Memphis Style

Never:
- Try to get Netzero to work on a Win2000 machine.
- Plug your printer cable into the not-a-printer-port on the back of your SCSI card, making the CDR mysteriously disappear.
posted by Gray at 11:15 AM | | link

Not Yet Eastbound And Down

Mississippi Phase: Complete. Our hero is now in Memphis, and his sister is about to take him to "The Cockeyed Camel" for some hot karaoke action (let's see what kind of google searches that line grabs). Should be a good time, and maybe I can convince her to sing something from a '70s truckin' movie for me. That would totally rule.

I think I get to see Sun Studios this time.

See y'all when I get home.

NP :: REM - "Everybody Hurts" (on Ash's little radio)
posted by Gray at 10:20 PM | | link

Yep.

The best part of today was probably the bike ride earlier tonight. I managed to swallow 0 bugs.

Tomorrow. I'm heading out to Mississippi and Tennessee for some Easter visitation, so don't expect much output for a few days... which is probably a good thing, because this entry is about as exciting as a Loggins & Messina bootleg.
posted by Gray at 1:10 AM | | link

Hurry Up And Wait

My investigations into whether or not anyone really wants to hire me continue to result in me being told to keep waiting. I contest that I should be hired simply by the fact that I have so much free time on my hands that I'm forced to make up lengthy, palaverous sentences instead of focusing my thinker on an interesting assignment of some sort.

Just look at all these words. They could be put to much better use in a professional environment. Won't someone please think of the childr-- er...words!?

Anyway. Who remembers the name of a line with arrows on it from geometry class? That fact sprung into my head a few minutes ago, and I really don't know why, but I think I'll take a hint and go graph some triangles now.

NP :: DJ Shadow - "Monosyllabik"
posted by Gray at 2:18 PM | | link

Por Favor...

Dear Roselyn Sanchez,

Please come over to my house and call me "Papi" on a regular basis. I will treat you right.
posted by Gray at 7:31 PM | | link

Open Letter

Dear Lady Next To Me @ Bulletproof Monk Screening,

Perhaps when one gets winded opening the wrapper of the King Sized Butterfinger bar that one is planning to enjoy as a follow-up to a large bag of popcorn, one should reconsider one's diet. Just a theory.
posted by Gray at 11:56 PM | | link

Large Pro

Today's Hot Track is "Back To Back" by Large Professor. Listen to this and just try not to bob your head. This whole mix CD is pretty snazzy, in fact.

It also scores points because he has a name that can be abbreviated so swankly. Maybe I can be G-Ray or something. I guess El Gray would work. Then I could be El-G for short (stealing a trick from El Producto)

I could probably pull this off better if I were from "a place called Strong Island" or something...

NP :: JVC Force - "Strong Island"
posted by Gray at 11:42 AM | | link

I'll Bet He Does
aka Unintentional Innuendo
aka "Slang"

My mom was telling me about a neighbor who's selling her house. She was introduced to her 'significant other', and told that the lady was moving in with this guy soon. Then she said it: "He's a realtor... so he has his sign planted in her yard."

*cue stifled laughter from Gray and dash to keyboard*
posted by Gray at 12:39 PM | | link

TV Shows I Never Need To See:

1) "Michael Jackson: The Footage You Were Never Meant to See"
2) "Dr. Phil"

NP :: Randy Crawford - "Street Life"

posted by Gray at 5:44 PM | | link

"That's A Nice Trick."

Geeks of the world, begin your downloads.

[ The Matrix Reloaded trailer ]

Now that I've picked my jaw up off the desk, I figured I'd share this link. Apparently, the ubergeeks at www.whatisthematrix.com hid this address in hexidecimal format on the news page! I support such hardcore geekery. Good job, folks. So anyway, get to downloading, and share the link with all! It is a flippin' amazing trailer.

NP :: Post-trailer silence...
posted by Gray at 5:00 PM | | link

Pretty good stuff tonight.

A good night, I dare say!

First and foremost, thanks to the generosity of Ms. Janice, I have now seen A Mighty Wind, and you have not! Have no fear-- The Chris Guest Greatness continues. It's better than Best In Show, and about in the range of Waiting For Guffman, I think. Give this movie your ca$h next week.

Secondly, I finally watched my tape of "24" from last night, and it renewed my faith in this show as the greatest thing going on TV right now. So. damn. cool. Dennis Haysbert should be our President. Also, it had some hot Marietta, GA riot action. Great stuff.

Thirdly, I found out that they're making a Stephen Hawking Simpsons figure! This may be the greatest toy ever conceived. Quantum physics AND action features. Awesome.
posted by Gray at 1:46 AM | | link

Work!

I think Blogger hates me. I have no idea where the Scale went...

update: Ah, sweet. Things work now. I guess someone rebooted a server somewhere and emptied out the Recycle Bin. I hope anyone who visited last night enjoyed the appearance of The Gambler in this space. For those of you who missed it-- coming soon to a theater nowhere near you, it's: Kenny Rogers' First Strike!

NP :: Ram Jam - "Black Betty"
posted by Gray at 3:40 PM | | link

I'm A Skyscraper!

Who's your #1 source of information on "david lee roth concert tshirt" on the web? That's right... ME.



(No, I don't really have any information about DLR concert tshirts here... but I'm all for the propagation of the rumor.)
posted by Gray at 2:32 PM | | link

Dogbutt Morning

I'm not sure what was different about this morning, but instead of her usual 'curl up in the curve of Gray's legs' routine, das weinerdog decided that today would be a good day to play Ice Climber on my face and chest. She wasn't even looking for a place to settle in, as she sometimes does. She just wanted to walk back and forth over my chin, as far as I could tell.

I think she eventually heard a package of Pop-Tarts being unwrapped 3 houses away and lost interest, but it was a weird few minutes.

NP :: UNKLE - "Be There"
posted by Gray at 10:58 AM | | link

Losing Odds

If you are Peter Lorre and you're dealing with Humphrey Bogart, don't even try to get the jump on Bogey, you twitchy weasel-man. I don't care if you do have a gun.

Nervous Little Man < Sam Spade, Superdetective any day.

NP :: The Maltese Falcon
posted by Gray at 11:26 PM | | link

KHAL

Hal, the father on "Malcolm in the Middle", is very nearly my favorite sitcom character of all time.

Some reasons:
- Tonight, he resurrected his pirate radio station from college, ranted about The Man and death lasers, taped himself and looped it over and over. This is something I would totally do.
- The roller skating episode.
- The NASCAR episode.
- He rented a steamroller for the sole purpose of running over stuff in a parking lot.
- He's just really, really funny.

Other favorite sitcom characters of all time:
- Dewey - "Malcolm in the Middle"
- Andy - "Andy Richter Controls the Universe"
- Red Foreman - "That 70s Show"
- The Tick - "The Tick"
- Turk - "Scrubs"
- Peter Dragon - "Action!"
- Ron Garner - "Undeclared"
- Darryl and Darryl - "Newhart"
- ALF - "ALF"
- Mr. T - that episode of "Diff'rent Strokes" where Arnold cut his hair like Mr. T.

Any other suggestions? Who's tickled your fancy? If anyone even mentions "Small Wonder", I will find you and throttle you.
posted by Gray at 9:43 PM | | link

Newsflash: Gray is still not a good bowler.

I have fun anyway. I knew I was a bewilderingly inconsistent bowler before tonight-- this is nothing new-- I'm just as likely to roll a strike as I am a gutter ball. No, today's big, painful reminder of my incompetence was an afternoon game of whiffle ball. Before today, I probably had not swung a bat at a ball in... I have no idea how many years. Ten, at least. Probably 15. Something ridiculous like that. Add this to the fact that I was never very good at it, and you have one horrible-at-whiffle-ball adult Gray Whitten.

I was stinking up that church parking lot with my lack of game. Despite the fact that I sucked worse than that giant maid-robot at the end of Spaceballs, it was still a great Saturday, and hopefully the rest of the weekend will follow suit.

The moral of this story being, don't be afraid to suck at whiffle-ball, because you probably need the exercise, and always get those frozen Minute Maid Cherry drinks when they have them at the bowling alley, because those things kick ass like a Slurpee that's been through bootcamp.

NP :: DJ Shadow - "What Does Your Soul Look Like?"
posted by Gray at 3:11 AM | | link

Crazy Moon / Funky Granules

If I ever meet anyone else with both Merle Haggard and Latyrx on their hard drive (or CD rack, or 'in their crates'-- whatever), I'm going to print up special laminated membership cards for the club that we're going to start right there on the spot. If that person is a girl, I'm going to ask her out. If she accepts, and, you know, 'stuff happens', we'll run off to someplace warm and name our kids after members of Run DMC and The Highwaymen (who says a girl can't be called Jay or Ad Rock-- or Merle, for that matter?).

Yep... that's the plan.
posted by Gray at 2:06 AM | | link

Oops

Accidentally made my resume the index file. Smrt.
posted by Gray at 4:26 PM | | link