Jesus Feet

Tonight at the gym, I saw a little Asian dude in a Gi emblazoned with the name of some dojo or school. The back informed me that he studied jiu-jitsu, and the sleeve warned the world that he was on JESUS' TEAM.

I figure with Jesus AND Jiu-Jitsu, you can beat pretty much anyone's ass.
posted by Gray at 10:33 PM | | link

Help Me Sing It...

Today is off to a less than stellar start. Someone please do something to make me happy*. Please?

* - Suggestions: Job offers; gifts of cash, electronics or fine carbonated beverages; prospective dates; a Segway; less phlegm.

update: This video link from T.Day is gloom-shatteringly hilarious.

NP :: Bobby Womack - "Across 110th Street"
posted by Gray at 9:42 AM | | link

He Got No Game

Cold weekend with more than a few unoccupied hours = PSX gets dusted off for some mid-'90s gaming action. This has resulted in a couple of realizations:

1) My Tekken 3 game has gotten dangerously weak. (this is where Derek makes fun of me)
2) Even though it's one of my favorite games of all time, I don't think I'm ever going to finish Syphon Filter, much less Syphon Filter 2 and Syphon Filter 3, which I also have copies of.
3) I have more video games than I will ever finish playing, and I still want the new ones. Apparently, part of me is eternally 10 years old.
posted by Gray at 7:55 PM | | link

NoAudio

Hmm... well, I tried to use my trial post with AudioBlogger on the way home from seeing Spirited Away earlier, but it apparently didn't take.

Therefore, you don't get to hear my thoughts on the police funeral procession that I passed on 400, unless the AudBlogger decides to cough it up at some point. Instead, I'll just say that the film was beautiful-- some of the most creative fantasy I've seen lately, lunch conversation was fun (as is always the case with this particular cohort), and this cold weather can bite me.

New Futurama, Simpsons, Alias and Boomtown tonight. Whoop!

NP :: Lamb - "Lusty"
posted by Gray at 5:28 PM | | link

Strangely, No One Chewed Doublemint

Good morning, sunshine! And when I say 'good morning', I mean 'it's after noon, but I slept really late', and by 'sunshine', I mean ' overcast day'.

In cases of slightly delayed wake-ups, I'm sometimes struck with a dilemma: can I get away with just eating those donuts I brought home last night for lunch? I mean, I know they're sweet and delicious, but will they really hold me until supper? I guess there's only one way to find out. Let it never be said that I'm not experimental (in the areas of donut and ice cream consumption, anyway).

Yes, last night was basically an elaborate donut retrieval mission. After a shameful delay, the twins next door and I have finally gotten to know each other, and I took it upon myself to show them around town a bit and enlighten them on some of the cooler bits of our fair city. The girls seemed to have enjoyed the outing, and the tour felt like a success to me.

(...but I guess it's kinda hard to go out for burritos and donuts with golden-haired twins and come home feeling like a failure, huh?)

NP :: Danny Elfman - "Indian Love Call"
posted by Gray at 1:48 PM | | link

The best thing I heard at the Basic screening tonight:

"There's a monkey in there--
don't give him ANY Chik-Fil-A!"

Luckily for me, I am not a monkey, because I love some Chik-Fil-A. If there was some guy refusing me that chickeny goodness, I would probably just have to go full-on Monkey Mad on that fella. He wouldn't know what hit him... bastard... all I wanted were some nuggets.

So, yesterday I got to spiff myself up and truck it downtown for what turned out to be a really cool interview. If the company in question decides to hire me, I'll feel pretty damn cool, and I really would enjoy the work. Also, it would be a good excuse to live somewhere closer to civilization (and by civilization, I mean Zesto, Oxford Comics and The Plaza). Wish me luck, or send me money for bribes.

NP :: "Insomniac" is on
posted by Gray at 12:07 AM | | link

Great Expectations

Sometimes you just have to accept that the time isn't right for something to happen.

Sometimes that feels like the worst thing in the world...

...but sometimes, if you just sit back, enjoy the good stuff around you and re-prioritize a bit, you realize that it really wasn't the right time, and it feels okay in the end.

NP :: Jurassic 5 - "Great Expectations"
posted by Gray at 8:58 AM | | link

I Still Miss Someone

I think I should start every day with a spin of Johnny Cash - Live At Folsom Prison. What do you like to start the day with?

NP :: Johnny Cash - "Greystone Chapel"

posted by Gray at 8:47 AM | | link

( )

You would think that if I made a mistake once, I would learn from it... and I usually do. After I jammed a metal spoon into the control panel of Mamaw's dishwasher and got a toddler-rattling jolt (and melted a cool notch out of the spoon), I never stuck any flatware into any running appliance ever again (as far as I can remember, that is).

After being denied tickets to Sigur Ros last year because I waited 'til the last minute, however, I don't seem to have learned a darn thing. The show is Thursday night, and as of today (Tuesday, for those of you with "scheduling issues"), the show is sold out.

No swooping, orchestral Icelandic rock for Gray. ¡Que lastima!

Eh, there's always a free movie to ease my pain, right?

NP :: Hans Zimmer - "Fighting 17th" from Backdraft
posted by Gray at 10:29 AM | | link

It's far too nice outside for anyone to spend time at a keyboard voluntarily, but that just how much I love my readers. (In reality, I'm just taking a little sit-down to let my peanut butter sammich settle before I blast off into the sunshine on my shiny, two-wheeled green machine for a little bit of exercise.)

When we last saw our hero, he was planning to attend Bend It Like Beckham on Thursday with a friend. This did not transpire. Instead, a job fair was attended with a neighbor. Now, from what I've heard, these can be encouraging, trade show-like affairs with lots of shwag and actual room to move. Picture the opposite of that. While the afternoon was productive, and two great leads were gotten from the venture, the experience itself was somewhat depressing. Props to the employer reps to stayed friendly for the entire time in a cramped room with not enough oscillating fans. I got to practice my 'walking without moving any part of my body above my knees' for a couple of hours... so I guess if I'm cast into leg-irons anytime soon, I'm ready to rock.

War continued. Oscars happened. I finally watched Lawrence of Arabia. The most entertaining of these three involved Peter O'Toole, but did NOT feature a pregnant lady singing. (on that note, it didn't feature any women talking whatsoever!)

So, I'm back. Wish me luck... interviews are a'happenin', and papa needs a brand new Game Boy.

NP :: Hans Zimmer - "In The Tunnels" from The Rock
posted by Gray at 1:20 PM | | link

Yeah, Uh...

I have stuff to say, but I can't be bothered to type it right now.

Sunday update: Still here, still not feeling verbose. I hope everyone's having a good end-of-week.
posted by Gray at 5:33 PM | | link

OH YEAH!

This message brought to you by the Sugar Growers of America and Chickenhead.com:



note: I might have to delete this post before it gives me a seizure.

also note: Do not follow the i-before-e rules if you are trying to spell seizure.
posted by Gray at 5:21 PM | | link

Infinite Gotham

Damn, just how many times can I listen to the Batman score in a row? Apparently, the answer to that is "13 fajillion." Yet, when the Finale hits, and the theme swells to meet the percussion (which sounds very much like a small steel girder clanging against something equally heavy and metallic) near the end, it's still one of the coolest film score moments ever-- every single time.

I think I might need to reprioritize my activities when I have more free movie passes than I do willing friends. I guess most people just aren't as enthusiastic as me about moviegoing. Another way of phrasing that might be: "most people have actual lives, Gray." Yeah, I thought I had one of those once. Apparently it was just a loaner.

appendix: If I find out that any of you ever turn me down to stay home and watch "The Bachelor" or some such pablum, you're losing Cool Points immediately.

NP :: guess...
posted by Gray at 3:10 PM | | link

"I'm With The Pork Commission..."

While I'm busy trying to design a site with rural realty customers in mind, I'll ask a favor of anyone who happens by. Should I go see Head Of State for free tonight? I think my usual commitment to "I WILL SEE ANY FREE MOVIE" has been weakened as of late by the fact that many springtime movies are like Danny Cooksey compared to the Gary Coleman that is summer, if one were to make the annual movie slate into a bigass "Diff'rent Strokes" metaphor.

Vote in the comments, you keyboard-bound comment-monkeys!

edit: Since the comments aren't working at the moment, here's some support material:

PRO: Bernie Mac, Chris Rock
CON: Old white folk singing "Hot In Herrrrre"

NP :: Danny Elfman - "Finale" from Batman
posted by Gray at 12:33 PM | | link

Root Of It All

I need to figure out just what it is that I'm the very best at... if such a thing exists.
posted by Gray at 5:09 PM | | link

You Know...

"Street Hawk" was definitely the coolest show about a motorcycle-riding supercop EVER.

NP :: Tangerine Dream - "Le Parc"
posted by Gray at 3:24 PM | | link

"I Just Love Your Brain..."

Is anyone else out there a fan of used bookstores? I haven't really found a great one here in Atlanta yet. In Dallas, we had the almighty Half Price Bookstores-- one of which is shaped like a BOAT-- and those are great. So far, though, I've only stumbled across a couple of smaller, dusty stores with a bunch of sci-fi paperbacks and the like. They might, technically do the trick sometimes, but they're about as interesting as a rejected "Becker" script*.

So, my challenge: If you know of a cool place to spend a couple of hours digging through bargain bin records, miscellaneous fiction, old comic books and maybe even some used CDs and DVDs, give me a shout out in the comments box. Bonus points if you're a girl who likes places like this. I always need a new partner in crime for geeky activities, and it's a special type who has the patience for prolonged crate-digging.

I've gotta find that Smokey and The Bandit II soundtrack LP and the accompanying novelization somewhere...

* - Reason for rejection: "Needs more Danson."

NP :: N.E.R.D. - "Truth Or Dare"
posted by Gray at 2:26 PM | | link

Busy Mind

I think this weekend has been an exercise in distraction. From what? From the thoughts that make you question and doubt things that you care about. I succeeded, for the most part. Movies help. Books are good, too. The friendly neighborhood weiner dog even contributes to the cause when she's not sawing logs and dreaming sweet dreams of dancing Snausages™ in the laundry room.

Anyway, mission accomplished, for the most part...
posted by Gray at 3:32 PM | | link

Take Me In

Today I walked the hallowed halls of Cartoon Network, and it was good. Never have I wanted to work at a place more than today. I had fun, learned some cool stuff about the production process, and walked off with an armload of free loot. Best office visit ever.

Dear Turner Accounting Department:
Please find some money for me.

Thanks,
Gray
posted by Gray at 12:47 AM | | link

Um...

I've really got to stop getting distracted by other things when I'm about to write a post. I guess I'll just have to distract you with cowgirl pinups and run in the other direction.

[ thanks to Smartypants for the link ]
posted by Gray at 4:12 PM | | link

Root Of All Evil

Now, I've never heard these t.A.T.u. girls sing, but I'm pretty sure that keeping the TV muted and continuing to enjoy Blue Lines while they performed just now was the wisest and sexiest choice I could have possibly made.

Speaking of sexy choices, don't you hate it when you make the wrong one? Nothing like a slice of regret that won't go away to dampen your otherwise rockin' state of mind.

Regrets vary for me-- mostly stuff from college, but occasionally I get off light, and it's just a flash of uncertainty over whether I really should have gotten the large chicken finger plate at Zaxby's instead of the small. Wait... that's from the "greasy choices" pile, not "sexy choices". Strike that one from the record. Sexy choices tend to involve girls and generally do not have the potential to raise my cholesterol level (though I guess anything is possible, if you're the creative type).

Right-- I won't terrify anyone by elaborating on anything specific here. I just wanted to point out the fact that regret will get you nothing but a headache. Avoid it like a hippy avoids deodorant.

NP :: Massive Attack - "Hymn of the Big Wheel"
posted by Gray at 2:11 AM | | link

"The Action IS The Juice"

Note to self: Do not miss 3 unaired episodes of "Robbery Homicide Division" on USA in April!

NP :: World Famous Beat Junkies - Live 2000
posted by Gray at 1:28 PM | | link

Day: Made

This is by far the best search engine referral in recent memory:

"a place that rhymes with primate"

...and I'm NUMBER ONE, BEESHES. Don't even try to topple my grip on the monkey-rhymin' empire. Suckas.

NP :: Blackalicious - "Release"
posted by Gray at 5:43 PM | | link

Rise!

"...because you can choose to say 'Good morning, God' or 'Good God, morning!'" -Gift of Gab

This afternoon's Hot Track is "First In Flight" from Blackalicious.

...and accordingly, the mood for the rest of the day will be: optimism! (Because pessimism sucks... and despite all my complaining, I really don't have too much to complain about.)
posted by Gray at 5:06 PM | | link

"That's How Bad I Was..."

The best thing I heard at the Willard screening tonight (it ruled, by the way):
"I used to eat raw meat. One time I ate raw meat off a deer while they were skinning it! That's how bad I was." - The loud vegan girl with the pierced face

The other best part of the night was when I called my friends Kellye and Josh while they were watching The Ring and horrified them into a coma. I am still grinning over that one.
posted by Gray at 10:14 PM | | link

Things That I, Gray Whitten, Do Not Like

1) Not having a slide-open roof on this office like they have in stadiums. On a day like today, I really want to be outside ALL DAY LONG, but I can't do that unless I figure out how to tear the roof off this mutha-sucka. A blimp would be nice, too.
2) The fact that while I have a great mind for technical details, creativity and the listing of Bruster's ice cream flavors, apparently I'm pretty much clueless about life, the universe and everything else.
3) Shasta
4) The decidedly sparse amount of Van Em-Effin' Halen on modern rock radio.
5) "Dr. Phil"

NP :: The Howling Diablos - "Drinkin' Wine Spo-Dee-O-Dee"
posted by Gray at 4:26 PM | | link

Never See A Brother Like Me Go Solo

Today begins an almost obscene week of free movies-- Monday through Thursday, and I'm even doubling up on Wednesday. If I make it to them all, maybe I'll chart my mental health at week's end. We'll see if I can run the gauntlet all the way from Willard to The Hunted, with stops for some comedy and assassination along the way.

Anyway, don't be surprised if you get a call or email from me looking for moviegoing cohorts at some point. Yes, that goes for EVERY PERSON I KNOW.

NP :: GYBE! - "11-28-99 (part 2)" (live)
posted by Gray at 10:31 AM | | link

Lightspeed You! White Grand Prix

Godspeed You! Black Emperor brought their special Canadian blend of angst and crescendo-laden rockin' to the Variety Playhouse tonight, and I was there. Let me tell you, faithful readers, (2x guitars) + (2x bass guitars) + (2x drummers [one hilarious]) + (1x violin) + (1x upright bass) = some kind of almighty, evil rock 'n' roll symphony, and I dug it. I think my partner in crime enjoyed the show, too, even though she claims to dislike bands without a singer...

(Not that I'm capable of holding something like that against a cute girl in glasses.)
posted by Gray at 2:09 AM | | link

Ditto

Please see yesterday's entry for instructions. That is all.
posted by Gray at 3:13 PM | | link

Sunny

It's beautiful today. Go outside!
posted by Gray at 4:58 PM | | link

Too Much Man For My Office Chair

Damnit, my armrest broke. Is it so much to ask of a chair that it be able to support a little weight-shifting via elbow gymnastics? It's not like I'm jumping up and down on it like a Luggage Gorilla on speed-laced bananas. Just me. Sitting. Occasionally with a lapdog. Can we maintain structural integrity, please?



NP :: Faith No More - "Ashes To Ashes"
posted by Gray at 2:43 PM | | link

Worse

It's raining, tonight's Tears of the Sun screening fell through, and I'm still clueless about girls, as a general subject.

At least I'm learning how to be a smoove operator from Cary Grant on TCM-- if I meet any time-travelin' babes from 1959 I'm gonna be set for life.
posted by Gray at 9:53 PM | | link

Better

A little bit of extra sleep this morning and some afternoon exercise, and everything's squared away.

Let me elaborate on the last entry. I picked up Clair last night for a proposed Carnival Adventure at the mobile funfest camped out near her house. We took in a burrito at the Rage, and made our way back to the now-waterlogged carnival. Dampness could not halt our mission, however! There was a ride that called to us-- beckoned us to partake of its multi-axis semi-trailer-based thrills! I named it The Lurcher, and after a brief investigation and a bit of carney-conversation, we weaseled our way onto the ride (despite the fact that it was, technically, closed for the night), and prepared ourselves for the terror/fun.

Since mere words can't describe this amazing contraption, and there seems to be NO EVIDENCE of it on the Internet, just trust me when I say that it's a good time for all... and strobe lights make everything cooler.

So, we had our fun, got taken by a silver-tongued barker/construction worker, and left without a giant-ass stuffed bear, much to Clair's chagrin (not really... she threatened to make me the bear-baby daddy if we won it). I even got a couple of pictures out of the deal.

Adventure: Accomplished.

NP :: North By Northwest
posted by Gray at 9:30 PM | | link

Fish Burrito + 3 tankards of Coca-Cola + 1 ride on The Lurcher + nervousness = no sleep 'til Brooklyn, apparently.

Maybe music and the couch will work better than silence and the bed.

NP :: Still deciding...
posted by Gray at 2:48 AM | | link

Sunshine Superdog

This is what happens when your dog is so lazy and comfortable in her sunbeam that she can't even be bothered to get up to investigate the crinkling of a bag of Nacho Cheesier Doritos 10 feet away from her.



If you can't tell in the picture, those little eyes are trained on me and the aforementioned Cheesier treats, but there's no effort whatsoever to move the rest of her body toward the food.

Muffin, the Wonderdog, folks. She's here all week!

NP :: The Mighty Mighty Bosstones :: "Break So Easily"
posted by Gray at 3:01 PM | | link

Hard On Me

Nothing like the melancholy middle tracks of a Tom Petty album to amplify feelings of nervousness or hesitation. I shouldn't be worrying about so much stuff at this point. Where my fixity at?

This free Plen-T-Pack of Juicy Fruit that the good people at Wrigley's sent me does cheer me up, though. Free candy always puts a smile on my face.

NP :: Tom Petty - "To Find A Friend"
posted by Gray at 11:39 AM | | link

Giant Novelty Combs Rule

In honor of Clair, and her obsession with mobile carnivals and the talented individuals who maintain them...



[ RIP, Mr. Jim Varney ]
posted by Gray at 12:47 PM | | link

Slideshow, Yo

I would very much like to see the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players perform live. The one song I saw on Conan was inspired entertainment.

Read David Cross' thoughts on the band, then see if you want to come along with me on a kickass road trip to be a Trachtenburghead. We'll eat nothing but bacon cheeseburgers and Bomb-Pops from those slide-top ice cream freezers at gas stations, and we'll listen to a recklessly fused mixture of Public Enemy, They Might Be Giants and Helmet (for when you've just gotta ROCK).

There's a sign-up sheet by the door.

NP :: John Williams - "Wookiee Prisoner"
posted by Gray at 12:39 PM | | link

Dreamland Accessible

Weird dream this morning-- I think it was a continuation of one from last week, though I can't seem to reconstitute the entire plot of that one in my mind at the moment. Something about asking a girl some question. THIS time, I was looking for her in a girls' dorm, and appeared to be having a great time, since my guide and I were on roller skates. Adding to the oddness was the fact that the guide showing me to the appropriate room was a friend from many years ago who I probably haven't thought of since the first Bush administration-- a bit of a puzzler. She was apparently a pretty great rollerskater. (I've just realized that the entire skating angle probably came from the game of Jet Grind Radio I played late last night. The Dreamcast is living up to its somewhat creepy name!)

The girl-to-be-questioned wasn't home, and Axl Rose's caterwauling on the radio pulled me out of this dreamland of skatable handicap ramps and potentially scantily-clad college girls before I could investigate any further.

I think the whole matter centered around a hooded sweatshirt, but I can't elaborate beyond that vagary.

"What do you think, sirs?" (and ladies)

NP :: John Williams - "The Millennium Falcon"
posted by Gray at 10:50 AM | | link

Guess Again, Luthor!

So, "Challenge of the Superfriends" is on, and they decide we need a refresher course on the Legion of Doom. Now I'm always up for a good roll-call, so you know I'm tuned in like Hasslehoff watching himself on old "Knight Rider" reruns. Yeah... so anyway, things got off to an unusual start when Mr. Freeze was introduced, and decided to show his power by freezing a light fixture.

Note to potential supervillains: fixture terrorism does NOT a supervillain make. Bring the A-game next time, a'ight? Maybe you could threaten a windowbox or a picture frame?

It's late, and I'm not funny.
posted by Gray at 1:52 AM | | link