Do you folks have any idea just how good Album Of The Year by Faith No More is? If the answer is no, please put forth an effort to make the discovery. Thank you, and have a pleasant afternoon.
posted by Gray at 12:29 PM | | link

Best new rapper name of 2002: Rosco P. Coldchain... a protege of the infamous Pharrell.

I guess in late 2003, we'll see an album from E-Nu$$ or perhaps Kewtaa.
posted by Gray at 2:13 AM | | link

"Women nicer to kiss than men," reports Julianne Moore.

"Well...yeah," reply men of the world.
posted by Gray at 3:17 PM | | link

Johnny Cash is on "Larry King Live"... He just said that his vision is about 60% gone. It makes me sad, but he's still sharp.

Larry: "Can you still sing?"
Johnny: "Oh, I can sing... as well as I ever could, I guess."

Now the conversation shifts to Johnny's addiction to speed in the 60s. He claims that when he first tried them, he felt like they were a gift from God, allowing him to perform at his best, and in as many places as possible. Damn, Johnny.

Oh wow... there's a video for his cover of "Hurt". Rapid edits of old shots of Johnny with some new imagery mixed in. Chills down the spine, folks. Wow.

"The most male voice in Christendom... every man knows he's a sissy compared to Johnny Cash." - Bono
posted by Gray at 9:15 PM | | link

It's frickin' early, Mr. Bigglesworth!

Ash and I head out to the airport in a few, sending her back to Graceland, and thus ending Whitten Fun Week (which was, for the most part, really pretty fun) and encouraging both of us to get back to actual productive life. We'll see how that whole thing works out.
posted by Gray at 7:02 AM | | link

Is there a rule that says that wacko pseudo-religious groups have to be the ones that make key scientific breakthroughs? The "Raelians, who say aliens engineered us," claim to have cloned a human. Should we expect the Scientologists to actually perfect interplanetary travel next? I mean, it's part of their loony-bin teachings, and they've certainly got a steady influx of cash.

Who wants to sign up for matter teleportation? Any Branch Davidians still out there?
posted by Gray at 9:51 AM | | link

'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring.. 'cept Gray, who had sweet potato pie for breakfast, and a new Peter Gabriel CD on the stereo.

Who's actually being productive today? Sound off like you've got a pair in the comments.
posted by Gray at 12:52 PM | | link

Merry Christmas, folks. We opened presents late last night, and I got to doze off by the fireplace listening to my new Sigur Ros CD throught the bad ass headphones that my mom got me.

(Please disregard the fact that I had to get up at 4 a.m. to take out contacts, shut off the fire, go to bed, etc... it was great while it lasted!)
posted by Gray at 12:45 PM | | link

Best Thing At K-Mart

Today at K-Mart, while looking for a new can-opener, I saw something in a buggy that earned at least a triple-take. A giant, clear beer bottle... with Dale Earnhardt's picture and signature on it... full of popcorn.

Note that it was not on a shelf, but in a moving cart. It was going to be purchased by someone, probably as a gift.

I guess I can't say anything... I'm pretty easily entertained, myself.
posted by Gray at 5:29 PM | | link

Also, please note that I've decorated...


and...

posted by Gray at 12:34 PM | | link

Beck's Mutations makes for a pretty fine soundtrack to a Sunday morning.

My sister has been retrieved from the airport, and the Whittens are together for Christmastime. Apparently Michael Vick was at the greeting area of the aeropuerto at the same time as me last night... but I don't know Michael Vick from your mom, so that didn't give me much of a thrill. I think some people were getting pictures taken with the guy, though.

I guess in some parallel universe, that's somewhere nearly as cool as meeting Darth Vader.

I saw The Two Towers! Yes, 4 days behind every other geek in the nation, but screw them... I had to see the Lion King IMAX for free that night! Anyway, TTT was thrilling, as expected. Must go see it again simply for the Willow/Hard Boiled hybrid shield slide stunt! In short, a very good movie. I need to find a mini-Orc or Goblin and a saddle so Muffin can dress up like a Warg for Halloween.

Also worth noting: after the movie, the Ren Faire-types were staging swordfights in the lobby. Somewhat lackluster, except for the fact that one of the combatants carried a monkey on a stick as his secondary weapon/mascot. It was a stuffed monkey, and it wore battle armor. Now that's a righteous monkey.
posted by Gray at 10:20 AM | | link

"Yes, I've got monkeys in my pants."

This is maybe the greatest article I could have asked to read first thing in the morning. Nothing to get the day started right like some true-life wacky hijinks.

[ Man sentenced for monkeys in pants ]

Can't you just picture this as a Three Stooges short called "Bowser In My Trousers" or something? (maybe Curly has dachshunds instead of monkeys in his pants.) Stuffy security guards, escaped animals. Hilarity ensues, and there's much bopping of heads. I guess, in lieu of new Stooges episodes, we just have to settle for the actual news nowadays. Not a completely fair trade, but as long as they keep the primate-themed headlines coming, it'll do!
posted by Gray at 9:16 AM | | link

MTV to suck more. Film at 11.
posted by Gray at 11:02 PM | | link

Another Mississippi Post:

I'm sorry for the people who were injured, but I think the lead graf about today's tornado activity in Newton, MS really says a lot:

A tornado tore through this town Thursday, injuring scores of people as it struck a Wal-Mart shopping center, a La-Z-Boy chair factory and several houses, authorities said.

I'm sure this troubled numerous local fat people who had planned to spend the week comfortably sitting and eating Doritos. Area NASCAR fans are expected to meet for a recliner/snack food memorial service soon.
posted by Gray at 4:25 PM | | link

ATL Folk, Hear This:

If you're not out seeing some movie about Hobbits, the place to be is Smith's, for Sir Ian Moore has returned to Georgia.

...and there was much rejoicing!

update: The show was amazing, the burritos were tasty, and the conversation was sparkling. All in all, it was a tough night to beat. Perhaps if a caramel truck had been broken down on the side of the road, and the driver needed help hauling off all that caramel, and they could only pay in caramel. Maybe that would have made it cooler, but I'm not complaining. I've got homemade cookies to sate my sweet tooth. My friends rule.
posted by Gray at 6:35 PM | | link

Quote of the Night

"If you like the scenery, get out the greenery!" - Dave Attell as a strip club DJ
posted by Gray at 12:09 AM | | link

Another experiment. "I sure wish I could find some information on adaptive golf."
posted by Gray at 5:22 PM | | link

The War Has Begun...

After a week of slumming in Windows Media Land, they finally decided to put up a Quicktime of the X-Men 2 trailer. Please enjoy.

(Where can I get one o' them clear guns?)
posted by Gray at 3:07 PM | | link

Nothin' says Christmastime Is Here like frosting, sprinkles, a little bit of cake and more frosting all wrapped up in the shape of a tiny tree. Thank you, Little Debbie!



The Holy Grail of the snack cake world... Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes. OH YEAH! It's a good thing they're only around for 2 months a year, because they're just too hard to resist. I get my one box of 5, spread 'em out over a month or so, and I'm good 'til the next year rolls around. If any of you out there haven't tried these evergreen edibles, you know what your mission is. Step lively!
posted by Gray at 2:34 PM | | link

A-BUH-huh-a-huh-ah!

I know where all my spare time's going from now on...

[ How To Beatbox ]
posted by Gray at 10:51 AM | | link

It sounds like Ben Stein has plenty of time for angry thinkin' now that his TV shows are out of production.

[ How to Ruin American Enterprise ]

This is a good article. I recommend it.
posted by Gray at 10:32 AM | | link

I Am A Burger-lovin' Supercomputer

Best misspelling of my name at a restaurant ever:


posted by Gray at 5:08 PM | | link

Ahhh, Saturday Morning Star Wars! Couch + blanket + dog + DVD = A nice, lazy way to spend the morning, and it's much easier to doze through the boring parts ('frolicking on the meadow' scene...I'm looking in your direction...) than it was in the theater.

Alright, I'll get back to real life now.
posted by Gray at 12:28 PM | | link

Oh, and by the way, this afternoon's Rockin' Track is "Cliffs of Dover" by Eric Johnson. Possibly my favorite guitar instrumental of all time. (of course "Eruption" and a few other classics are in the running)
posted by Gray at 2:17 PM | | link

Worry's For Another Day...

There's a humorously-named new Google property out there now. Might come in handy, but for the moment, it just makes me think of Fraggles.
posted by Gray at 1:50 PM | | link

Way to go, Trent. It's not like the rest of the nation didn't already see us as the retarded cousin.

(I'm from Mississippi)

You know, I'll admit it... there are some backwards-ass thinking people down there. Plenty of them. Some related to me. It's frustrating. It gets really old when I'm exposed to it during certain holiday visits, and my frustration really spikes when I think about people I know raising kids (kids that I care about) in an environment of casual racism.

I really don't see how anyone can hold a grudge against any group of Americans who gave us this, this and this. That's just wasted energy, people.

NP :: James Horner - "Playtronics Break-In" (from Sneakers)
posted by Gray at 1:48 PM | | link

Q: What is 1.4 Seconds?

A: The time it took for me to get the channel changed after seeing this listing on Yahoo! TV.
posted by Gray at 10:24 PM | | link

EEEEEEE!

As painful as it may be, I feel that I must point this out. One of the damned Backass Boys has procreated. *twitch* It's a boy. The name?

Baylee Thomas Wylee Littrell. *shudder*

Why don't they just throw a "Sissee" and a "Lipsynchee" in there while they're at it? Jebus, dude... learn to spell BEFORE you head to the courthouse to fill out the birth certificate.
posted by Gray at 10:10 AM | | link

For Him, The Action IS The Juice...

Wow...I'd never expect this from a guy who was dating Heidi Fleiss.

[ Actor Tom Sizemore arrested ]
posted by Gray at 11:57 PM | | link

Considering the current mood of political upheaval and patriotism, I propose another change in our nation's giant org chart in the sky.

Out with Tom Ridge...

In with SGT. SLAUGHTER.

I mean really... who better to defend our nation than the man responsible for whipping the GI Joe team into shape in the late '80s? NO ONE. I do agree with Travis' suggestion that we appoint Mr. Jet Li as Special Foreign Emissary to Asian Nations. (we figured that if anything goes REALLY wrong, he can bust out his tricks from The One and go all multiverse on their asses. No one can defeat a million Jet Lis and one Sgt. Slaughter. YOU HEAR ME, OSAMA?)

Comments?

NP :: DJ Shadow - "100 Metre Dash"
posted by Gray at 12:56 PM | | link

The Further Adventures of The Brown Family

"Crack is WHACK!" - Whitney Houston
posted by Gray at 11:32 PM | | link

I'll Be There For You...With A 9mm

How many dudes are there in The Rembrandts? That's how many bullets I need.

*laugh track*
posted by Gray at 8:13 PM | | link

Hey Travis, check this out.
posted by Gray at 1:18 AM | | link

Let Me Tell You What ELSE Sucks...

Well, this is interesting. [ DVDTracks ] Folks are recording their own commentaries to be played along with a movie. My curiosity is gonna get the best of me on this one. You know I'll be listening to MagnoliaFan335 and N30r0XX discussing the finer points of The Matrix before the week is out...

Obviously, I need to get to work on my Smokey and The Bandit commentary track immediately.

NP :: Kool Kieth - "Maxi Curls"
posted by Gray at 9:43 PM | | link

Sweet mama, "What It Is" from Mark Knopfler's Sailing to Philadelphia album is a nice piece of music! I hope you all own some Knopfler, but you probably don't, because most people are too busy buying Linkin Park CDs to listen to Mark Knopfler.

If only I ruled the world...
posted by Gray at 4:07 PM | | link

Alrighty, readers... (both of you) ... consider this your personal media watch for the week. If, this weekend, you happen to be in the mood for a movie which kicks all manner of hinder while avoiding any mention of wizards or overexposed white rappers, please try to find a theater showing Equilibrium, then pay them money for a ticket.

Trust me on this one. Good sci-fi, AWESOME, MIND-BLOWING action, and a very cool cast make this movie worth your while. Seek it out before it disappears to home-video limbo.

NP :: GYBE! - "Dead Methany"
posted by Gray at 11:28 AM | | link

I don't think I'm going to burn much time on it, but if anyone reading this is playtesting The Sims Online, leave a comment or drop a line, and let me know. Maybe we can start a Sim Mafia or something.
posted by Gray at 4:22 PM | | link