Okay, there's way too much Pepsi content on this site lately, but I gotta give props for the new commercial I just saw featuring "The 900 Number" by The 45 King... you may know this song as... THE ED LOVER DANCE.

Do it with me, now...

*Ed Lover Dance*
*Ed Lover Dance*
*Ed Lover Dance*

(if you don't know the Ed Lover Dance... well, I just can't help you. take two Julie Browns and call me in the morning.)

posted by Gray at 10:50 PM | | link

Triscuits are just WAY better than Wheat Thins.
posted by Gray at 12:00 AM | | link

In a moment of irony, I seem to be attracting a flurry of Google hits searching for info on Mr. Ludacris and his involvement with a) Pepsi and b) cartoons. Maybe I'll make an actual effort to climb to the top of the Ludacris-search rankings, then use my virtual soapbox to preach the gospel of the Jurassic 5 to the masses.

Yes! If anyone reading this claims to be a fan of hiphop, but has never heard the J5, do yourself a favor and get thee to a record store (or their website) and sample their funk. If you don't like the cut of their jib, please report to your nearest Re-Neducation Camp for 'training,' and stay away from my stereo.
posted by Gray at 11:17 PM | | link

CBS is relaunching "The Beverly Hillbillies" as a reality show. Real hillbillies... loadin' up their truck and movin' to Bev-er-lee. Wackiness and bleeped profanity ensue. As you may know, I believe all these supposed reality shows to be scripted soap operas with planned, overly-dramatic outcomes... and this is no exception. I'm just complaining about the unending wave of crap that's being generated while cooler, more creative shows go unwatched and get cancelled.

Get some taste and a decent sense of humor, America... you're screwing up my TV.
posted by Gray at 10:11 AM | | link

List of thoughts/words triggered in my brain every time I see Maury Povich's damned face on TV:

- hate
- not entertainment
- destroying America
- too loud
- HATE
- doesn't deserve TV show
- NOT CREATIVE
- white trash
posted by Gray at 12:36 AM | | link

Until I saw part if it again on TCM just now, I really didn't remember that Danny and Sandy fly away in a car (?) at the end of Grease...

...but that's what happened. I seen it with my own two eyes. Also worth noting is the fact that it stars Eddie Deezen, aka MANDARK. HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA!
posted by Gray at 9:57 PM | | link

Mmmm...filling out job apps rocks the hizouse!

Oh wait, no, I was thinking of getting a backrub from a cute girl while drinking a frosty vanilla milkshake. THAT rocks. Job apps are considerably less fun.

...but what are ya gonna do? I'm not a Kennedy*.
posted by Gray at 8:08 PM | | link

Chopper Game Update: New High Score = 2356.

Beat it, suckas.
posted by Gray at 3:42 PM | | link

Boy howdy, I'm behind the times... I finally saw Signs tonight. LOVED IT. Great surprises, great humor, great music... great movie, if you ask me (and you don't have to ask me... I'm offering my opinion for free without solicitation).

The kids weren't even annoying. I thought their performances were great, in fact. Can you believe that the newest Culkin offspring seems to be a good actor? Miracle of miracles.

Enough babbling. Go see it if you haven't yet. Go at night.
posted by Gray at 1:25 AM | | link

There are some new toons premiering on the Cartoon Network this weekend. While Transformers: Armada was pretty much a disappointment to me (do they have to add smartypants KIDS to every cartoon?), Lowbrow is damn near the coolest thing I have seen this summer.

Also, they keep teasing me with commercials featuring The Reverend Horton Heat... but I haven't seen him/them actually perform yet. Do not toy with my emotions, Cartoon Network!

Ash should be hitting the road today, but her ankle has her all cripped up... we'll see.

update: Ash is safely in the area of Nashville (westbound and down) and I finally saw the Rev's new song. Seemed to be called "Hey, Johnny Bravo!" It's pretty cool...as most RevHo songs are.
posted by Gray at 1:44 PM | | link

Another chapter of Operation: Midnight Swim completed successfully. This time I had mi hermana Ashley as an accomplice and Homer Simpson flip-flops to take me there. Good times.

Oh, and Ash is nominated for an award for her costume work on a production of "Something Wicked This Way Comes" earlier this year in Memphis. Go Ashley!
posted by Gray at 1:14 AM | | link

Ever been fragged by Patch Adams or Mork? You might have been. Robin Williams admits to being a huge fan of online gaming... especially Half Life and Warcraft 3. Cool.
posted by Gray at 4:32 PM | | link

I realize there's not much in the way of deep thoughts on this page lately. The sister is here for a week before she returns to Graceland-land and jobhunting of her own. We watched Orange County tonight, from that clever young director, Jake Kasdan. I am a big fan of his previous film, Zero Effect, and while this one is notably less unique, it was certainly entertaining. Jack Black steals all of his scenes, and the cameos were great.

Anyway, as for me, this jobless thing is getting really old. I'm trying to find a good technical writing class to take... I think that could point me towards a pretty rewarding career that doesn't forsake my interests. Anyone know any tech writers? Drop a line if you do.

Ludacris is on Last Call. Have I mentioned that I don't care for Ludacris? If I have not, please let it be noted now.
posted by Gray at 2:08 AM | | link

Let's all take a moment to thank Madison, WI for giving birth to The Onion. [ Celebrity Clothing Lines ]

Oh, and in case you didn't notice... Smoove B is back in town.
posted by Gray at 1:42 AM | | link

Here's a good interview with Larry Hama, writer of such fine comic books as GI Joe, Wolverine and...uh... Mort the Dead Teenager.
posted by Gray at 10:36 PM | | link

Science...is there anything it CAN'T do?
posted by Gray at 2:29 PM | | link

I knew that big American stars often do commercials in Japan and other overseas nations for BIG $$$, but I wasn't aware that the same went for our beloved animated pals. It seems that in Japan, The Simpsons are big fans of something called C.C. Lemon (aka "Shi-shi Lemaa!") and have an even greater penchant for nudity than they do here in the States.

We must harness this power in the US to promote the gospel of our own brightly-colored, citrus-themed refrescos.

NP :: Bill Withers - "Grandma's Hands"
posted by Gray at 1:58 PM | | link

Nope, not much to say today.
posted by Gray at 11:58 PM | | link

Sonova... [ Theory that a big pipeline deal weakened our nation's defenses pre-9/11 ]
posted by Gray at 1:03 PM | | link

Want to have the most kickass birthday/ bachelor/ 'welcome home from jail' party ever? Better yet, want to throw the best surprise party for me, Gray Whitten, ever? If you said yes to the 2nd question, head over to this list of acts for hire and find out if DJ Shadow, Jurassic 5, Blackalicious, 16 Horsepower, Lewis Black and Mr. Bungle are all available sometime during the last week of January.

Heck, I can pretend that my birthday falls on any week in which you can arrange this celebration. There's also plenty of give and take on the talent...just make sure you don't hire the D-12 or Evan and Jaron under any circumstances.

At least most of the really cool acts are somewhat reasonable... Being in the $100K+ range doesn't seem to guarantee quality. Ja Rule? Dave Matthews Band? P. Diddy? Oasis? It's like reading off a checklist of 'stuff that sucks,' Beavis. [ note: Huey Lewis and Kid Rock excluded. ]

posted by Gray at 4:36 PM | | link

"You don't have to SEE Cats to make fun of it!" - Conan O'Brien

You got that right.
posted by Gray at 1:04 AM | | link

Do you ever forget that tricky "drawers-THEN-pants" order of operations? Do buttons and/or zippers frustrate you to no end? Perhaps George Zimmer and his cadre of Men's Warehouse Fashion Kommandos can be of help. Check it out.
posted by Gray at 10:24 AM | | link

Are YOU looking for opportunities in the exciting MEAT industry? Are you a non-skilled laborer? Do you enjoy the removal of hog bungs? Of chicken, turkey, duck and goose kidneys and lungs? The expansion of cattle bungs?

If so, The Jarvis Corporation has the tools YOU need to start a profitable and exciting new career. Sign up today!

Or, if that's not quite up your alley, there's always a place for you with PhoneActress..."the nation's largest no fee recruitment site for Internet and Telephone Actresses & Actors!"

$15/hour, and you don't have to leave the comfort of your own LA-Z-Boy! (though I wouldn't recommend using a cordless phone for this particular job interview.)

This has been Thursday's edition of Jobfindin' On The Web With Gray. Tune in next time (or not) for more occupational excitement!
posted by Gray at 12:18 AM | | link

Admittedly, "Beat It" was a pretty bad-ass song (thanks in no small part to the guitar contributions of Mr. Edward Van Halen), and "Scream" had that wicked high-tech space video with the delicious Janet in it, but there's no doubt that these days, Michael Jackson is 100% Pure Superfreak. I present to you the evidence...
[ Exhibits A - K ]

NP :: Godspeed, You Black Emperor! - "Providence"
posted by Gray at 4:27 PM | | link

This is one funky-fresh toddler. On the M-I-C.
posted by Gray at 10:57 AM | | link

Robert Rodriguez is the featured interview on The Onion's A.V. Club this week. Head over there and read the article for a glimpse at what a true genius this man is. _CAN'T WAIT_ for Once Upon A Time In Mexico.
posted by Gray at 2:02 AM | | link

Four glorious DVDs full of the 2nd season of "The Simpsons" arrived in the mail today. Sure, I'm a week behind...but I saved a few bucks. You make that kind of compromise when you're balancing unemployment and fanaticism.

Operation: Comic Book Storm has nearly reached its conclusion, and it looks like I might have 1100 - 1200 comics altogether. I would say that there are probably a good 50 that I really don't care about anymore (impulse buys, etc), but the vast majority are books that I'll hold on to forever (or until I feel the need to sell them off for some new tiny, fat tires for my modified Isuzu minitruck). (NOTE: I do not own an Isuzu minitruck of any sort.)
posted by Gray at 11:28 PM | | link

Okay, I sat down to type up a quick entry on Pepsi Blue, but I got distracted checking the logs. This is better, anyway.

Someone arrived at my page by searching for "see michelle rodriguez on porno." NOT that I'm criticizing... I mean, I wouldn't pass up the chance to see... uh... Anyway, I thought it was pretty entertaining that it happened. I don't really consider my page to be a clearinghouse of information on either Michelle or porno (Salma Hayek and Mello Yello, perhaps), so I guess they just got lucky.

I'll stop talking now and say that Miss Rodriguez is a lovely young lady, and Pepsi Blue is not very good. I'll stick to Ice Blue Kool Aid instead from now on.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch the Blue Crush trailer again. Over and out.
posted by Gray at 6:51 PM | | link

Heh heh... There's a Mountain Dew-themed message board. A part of Mtdew.net. Feels like home.
posted by Gray at 5:51 PM | | link

I'd like to take a moment out of my busy schedule to ridicule this person. I won't even go into the sordid details here. Just believe me when I say that we're dealing with a looney who needs to work on his coping skills.

NP :: Sigur Ros - "Vidrar Vel Til Loftarasa"
posted by Gray at 10:31 AM | | link

[ Fly The Copter ] - Best telephone distraction since Minesweeper! (So far, 1261 2014 2203 is the score to beat, folks.)

It gives me a pleasant dose of early-80s Activision-like nostalgia. Kinda like River Raid... 'cept different. With a helicopter.
posted by Gray at 11:08 PM | | link

Remember kids...always recycle....TO THE EXTREME!!!
posted by Gray at 6:46 PM | | link

[ New Orleans aquarium platform falls, dumps 10 into shark tank ]

It's pretty obvious to me what happened here. They were visiting unexpectedly after hours... the evil genius who was secretly converting the aquarium into his Aquarium Lair saw an opportunity to test out his new breakaway floor/shark tank trap and he took it. Hey, henchmen aren't cheap... you can't pass up free guinea pigs when you're on an Evil Budget (as all frugal Evil Geniuses should be).
posted by Gray at 2:47 AM | | link

Did anyone reading this ever watch "GvsE" a few years ago? It was later retitled "Good vs. Evil," and it aired on the USA Network, then The Sci-Fi Channel.

I sure would like some VCDs or DVDs or the option to have all the episodes digitally loaded into my brain like Johnny Mnemonic. Little help?
posted by Gray at 1:50 AM | | link

A TV commercial just called Chicago "America's greatest rock band." I think I speak for everyone when I say, "Wha-wha-WHAAAA?!"
posted by Gray at 1:30 AM | | link

You know I have to link anything relating to my beloved GI Joe, even if it is the silly 12" version... [ link ]

A doll caused a security alert at an American airport because its two-inch plastic gun was considered a dangerous weapon.

Mrs Powell had to put the gift - minus the rifle - in her suitcase so it could go in the aircraft's hold.

Ugh...head hurts... too.......much stupidity! There's a difference between 'replica' and 'obviously a miniature toy,' smart guys. Figure it out.
posted by Gray at 9:05 PM | | link

R.I.P., Gordon. I remember that guy's face as well as I do my own. "Sesame Street" was where it was at for my sister and I. Say what you will about letting kids watch too much TV, but PBS will rarely steer you wrong. Historically, anyway... I'm not sure exactly what they're airing now. The 70s - 80s stuff, though... I think it worked. "3-2-1 Contact" and the show about the mystery solvin' kids with the computers hidden in their furniture were two personal favorites. And of course, the part of "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood" when they went into the Land of Make-Believe. That was pretty awesome at the time.

Oh, and the almighty JULIUS SUMNER MILLER! Physics god of the airwaves. That man was a loon, but I learned stuff. Physics is phun.
posted by Gray at 11:42 AM | | link

Before the day slips away...

Happy Birthday, dad. I miss you.
posted by Gray at 11:02 PM | | link

John Woo, Tony Scott and Joe Carnahan will direct new chapters in BMW's short film series, "The Hire." [ link ]

The directors of Hard Boiled and True Romance commanding a bunch of speeding luxury cars and Clive Owen... this can only be a good thing.
posted by Gray at 9:35 AM | | link

I believe the cool music on that Nissan spot with the low-flying UFO is from The X-Files movie. That would make sense, wouldn't it?

Now I think I'm gonna go play some SNES games on my Dreamcast. Thank you, internet!
posted by Gray at 7:37 PM | | link

The last night of duelling free concerts downtown was an entertaining, if soggy experience. Better Than Ezra were funny and in their groove as usual. In addition to the "Debra" cover, we got a few seconds of "Ms. Jackson" this time. Those guys always deliver. I enjoyed seeing Sevendust for the first time. Collective Soul showed up for about a half-hour to try out some new songs, and to play a cover of "Personal Jesus" for some reason (we missed any explaination given, as we were seeking shelter from the sudden downpour at that time). Avril Lavigne was every bit as ridiculous as you might imagine her to be. She wore the exact same thing she does in that video, for criminy's sake! I hope the record company that manufactured her is happy with their little Chick-182.

Oh, also, there was Cracker.

Now Playing :: Wayne's World 2
posted by Gray at 3:11 AM | | link

"I think Nazis are A-holes! I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that. They are so cute when they're little, though." - Sarah Silverman
posted by Gray at 1:26 AM | | link

Before I forget, Entertainment Weekly pointed out that at this time in 1992, our nation was shakin' what its mama gave it to the tune of one "Baby Got Back" by a certain Knight of the Funky Table...



Sir Mix-A-Lot. In honor of 10 years of the original bootiliciousness, dig out those copies of Mack Daddy and blast it 'til the neighbors complain...or until a giant pair of buttocks rise out of the floor and some dancing girls show up to show you how it's done.
posted by Gray at 2:50 PM | | link

WHOOP! We have new Jurassic 5 music! Check out the streaming links below if you've ever enjoyed any hiphop song ever. J5 is about the best thing going these days. Give them a listen.

"What's Golden" - WMP - DSL
"What's Golden" - WMP - 56k
"What's Golden" - Real - all
posted by Gray at 11:30 AM | | link

Note to self: read MPEG-4 article AFTER accomplishing a couple more things this afternoon.
posted by Gray at 4:34 PM | | link

Maybe if I just drink a lot more Mello Yello/Code Red, my brain will run faster and I'll therefore get more things done in a day. I'm friggin' brilliant!

Actually, this is just an excuse for me to mention that the brains at Coca-Cola FINALLY got their act together and put up a Mello Yello website. They've got some sort of Hot Or Not dealio going on, and streaming Mello Yello radio. (guaranteed Smoove, I'm sure) Check it out if you enjoy Mountain Dew's major competitor as much as I do. Be sure you watch the TV spots... all funny.

Whatever you do...make sure you keep smooth.
posted by Gray at 3:30 PM | | link

"It's like A Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Cannonball Run." - Janeane Garafalo describing Big Trouble

Funny, funny lady.
posted by Gray at 1:56 AM | | link