Woo-HA, I got you all in check!

I'm kidding... I have no one in check. I haven't even castled or en passent-ed. Let it be known that I am nowhere near Check. At least I have some new comics and a tummy fulla tacos.

Heading to Mississippi tonight. No posts for the weekend, unless I hijack a cousin's laptop (unlikely), so you'll have to entertain yourselves til Sunday night (not that I've been providing any manner of entertainment lately, anyway). I'll get the funny on when I return. I mean it.

In the meantime, read orbyn.com or metafilter.com or chud.com or something. And keep it funky.
posted by Gray at 2:12 PM | | link

Robin Williams is still the same old crackheaded comedic genius that I liked so much in Good Morning, Vietnam. Read this interview for confirmation of this fact.
posted by Gray at 11:55 PM | | link

I knew I recognized this guy all night long... it turns out that the writer/director of In The Bedroom was Matthew Modine's speedfreak roommate in Gross Anatomy.
posted by Gray at 12:46 AM | | link

It has come to my attention that I'm NOT the top of the search results for "Mountain Dew Code Red Pics". I must rectify this.

...I do seem to have a firm grip on "gray scale", though, and this pleases me immensely.
posted by Gray at 12:35 PM | | link

Inspired by this link.

lilfascistpanty: you could get a lot of slurpees if you were a movie star
TheOneSnowman: LOTS
TheOneSnowman: relatively free Slurpees
TheOneSnowman: *dream*
lilfascistpanty: $15 a car, too
lilfascistpanty: i mean, hell, i'd splurge and spend $30 on a car
TheOneSnowman: or so it would seem
lilfascistpanty: julie roberts gets free slurpees
lilfascistpanty: that bitch
posted by Gray at 12:08 PM | | link

HA! HA, AOL, HA! Proof that you suck.

...and here's another article on the benefits/pain of using your own software.
posted by Gray at 9:39 AM | | link

I am glad to know that Google can't be completely bullied by the Scientologists. Silly Scientologists... tricks are for Cruises.
posted by Gray at 10:02 AM | | link

I left about 1/4" of Mountain Lightning in a plastic cup here on the desk 2 nights ago. It's like greenish honey now.

Saw a free play tonight. Proof. Not the national tour...but it did have the lady Tom Green made out with in Road Trip, some guy named 'Brik' and the father of the next-door brat on Small Wonder. Man, I hated that show. Anyway...the play was about math, and the relationships between parents and children. It was touching, funny and a good play overall, in my opinion. Worth seeing if you have the opportunity.
posted by Gray at 12:12 AM | | link

There's a story coming... about a flat tire and 2 H.E.R.O. units. I promise. Keep checking back. Pictures, even!
posted by Gray at 3:01 PM | | link

Does anyone have the special lug to take the lock nut off the wheel of a '92 Bonneville?

If so, please hop into your time machine and take it to my house last night while I was outside walking the dog. And while you're there, tell me not to drive to work this morning. Thanks.

PS - please warn me if your time travel method of choice involves you arriving bare-ass naked so I have a chance to look away or take a picture...whichever is appropriate.
posted by Gray at 11:55 AM | | link

Does anyone else find the girl that pops and locks in the '03 Mitsubishi Eclipse commercial to be somewhere between irritating and arousing? I sure do.

"Sit still ...baby."
posted by Gray at 9:43 PM | | link

Happy Birthday to Wolfgang Van Halen. Son of Edward.
posted by Gray at 8:29 PM | | link

Wow... in addition to being a really angry rapper I don't enjoy (sorry MLE), it appears that DMX is also a crack fiend who doesn't take care of his THIRTEEN pit bulls.

1) Crack is bad, mmmkay?
2) Nobody needs that many pit bulls.
3) If you have a little kid in the house, you don't need any pit bulls.
4) People who 'pray' in concert and then go smoke some crack don't impress me too much.
5) Crack is really bad.
posted by Gray at 8:27 PM | | link

PONG -- it's not just balls and paddles.
posted by Gray at 8:29 AM | | link

For those of you that know me and my dog, you'll get a kick out of this story. Okay...maybe not a kick. Something. You'll say "hey, that's a story about a dog like Gray has." Something to that effect.

The point being...I'll be keeping an eye on my dog when she's outside and there are nationally-protected winged predators around. Give it a look.

(O-dub's post on the matter is much funnier)
posted by Gray at 7:00 PM | | link

ACHTUNG: We have been informed by our resident European, Trudy, that in England, peanuts are known as 'monkey nuts'. Therefore, the big bowl of peanut on the counter is adorned with a sign boasting "FREE MONKEY NUTS". Enjoy this information at your leisure. Thank you, and good day.
posted by Gray at 10:32 AM | | link

It's WAY too nice to be inside right now. We've been in meetings all day long. One more to go. Someone come abduct me and take me to the park to fly kites. Kites ROCK.
posted by Gray at 2:59 PM | | link

Blackalicious is coming back to the ATL. Right on. I'll finally get to see the boys. Who wants to go? April 25, I think.
posted by Gray at 11:25 PM | | link

Donuts....wearing off. Need.... inspiration.
posted by Gray at 4:16 PM | | link

Get yourself a shiny new Kenworth Pilgrimage today! Even that darned Flanders next door will be jealous!
posted by Gray at 12:06 PM | | link

Movie trailer editors knowingly practice deception? NO! File under "duh". [ link ]

If you're one of those people out there telling focus groups that the trailers they've shown you don't reveal enough, you and me gotta have a few words. Outside. 3 o'clock. By the bike racks.
posted by Gray at 10:26 PM | | link

>:D{ = NAUGHTY MONKEY!
posted by Gray at 11:38 AM | | link

Oh yeah... find your way to Mr. Pbody's place and show some love. Look around a bit and live out your Tiffany fantasies. Whoop!

Check out Aaron's site, too. He likes The Simpsons and DJ Shadow, too. (therefore, cool)
posted by Gray at 9:48 AM | | link

El Grayscale-o was broken most of last night. Not my fault. Sorry if you were desperately trying to read what I had to say about... Everybody Loves Raymond or something.

I couldn't be bothered to write anything new, anyway. Maybe tonight.

Productivity: ON!
posted by Gray at 9:39 AM | | link

Egad, a day can go slowly. Candy brightens moments, sure. Nerf guns provide release. Still... a very slow day. Maybe I need more caffeine and sugar. Or some exer-ma-cize.
posted by Gray at 5:54 PM | | link

Engines are cool.
posted by Gray at 1:11 PM | | link

Yo mama lives on a fixed income.
posted by Gray at 10:52 AM | | link

Did anyone tape Alias last weekend? I sure would like to see that one.

update :: Why didn't I think of trying to download it before tonight? smrt. Hopefully I'll have it before the evening is through.
update x2 :: I watched it last night! Man, I love the internet. I'm gonna download all my TV from now on.
posted by Gray at 5:38 PM | | link

Damn, this is pretty sad. [ link to story about a pretty sorry excuse for a mother ]

And remember, kids go in the tub .. jeans go in the washer. [ link ]
posted by Gray at 1:42 PM | | link

Fire. It's bad. Or funny. One of the two.
posted by Gray at 1:25 PM | | link

The Content Faction vs. The Tech Faction :: aka :: Hollywood vs. The Internet

Very informative. And scary.

Still, the Content Faction's approach to the issue shouldn't be easily dismissed. They may be right to say that what individual citizens really want is compelling content over broadband, and it may even be the case that a majority of citizens would trade away the open, robust, relatively simple digital tools they now have for a more constrained digital world in which they have more content choices. But the important thing to note is that, at least for now, few ordinary citizens have any voice in this particular debate about the digital future -- few are even aware the debate is going on. (It doesn't help, for example, that the Hollings proposal is pitched as a "security standard" rather than as a new copyright law.)

Why do I just KNOW we're gonna lose this one? ("We" being the geeks/users/people who actually care of the world.) As much as it sucks, I'm pretty sure they're right. The majority of the Joe Sixpack-Blockbuster types in the US of A just want to be able to watch the damned FULLSCREEN VERSION of The Mummy Returns To Suck More without leaving their freakin' couch and don't care where or how they get the information. Keep everything in the My Documents folder? Don't EVER peek into the Windows directory? Sure! Okay! Let me just listen to these sample audio files that were in the My Music folder and tell you what I'd like to buy from the online merchant of Microsoft's choice.

I'll shut up now. Fight the power.
posted by Gray at 11:57 AM | | link

Mighty Girl is funny. Read her page.
posted by Gray at 11:27 AM | | link

Also, have we just dumped a giant bucket of ass-kick on the middle-east? Apparently. It's always an area of conflict, yeah, but lately, terrorist acts in a number of countries are a daily occurance. I've gotta think that more than a few people don't go for American occupation of that neck of the woods. It'll never be a peaceful region... no matter how long we stay or where we bomb (precisely or not). That's how it seems to me, anyway.
posted by Gray at 11:20 AM | | link

How To Waste A Weekend:

• Stay up stupid late playing old video games and watching Iron Chef
  
• Set no alarm
  
• Make no plans ahead of time
  
• Laundry? Bah!
  
• When you do wake up, spend what's left of the morning reading and blogging
  

If I were listening to the new DJ Shadow album that's due out in May, I might think that such an album was pretty amazing. More electronic in spots, certainly... less ominous overall, sure... but still, rocking my world, and better than most anything else out there right now. If only such an album were out...
posted by Gray at 11:04 AM | | link

Probably cooler than a rocket-bike. [ link ]
posted by Gray at 8:55 PM | | link

Jay Leno has a rocket-bike.
posted by Gray at 8:48 PM | | link

BASS! How low can you go? Someone remind me to remember to my Public Enemy CDs more often, please. Thanks.
posted by Gray at 4:45 PM | | link

The sister has departed for Memphis after a week of family bonding. The rain has started falling after a morning of...ominous....cloudforming? It looks like a relatively uneventful weekend. [note to self: hey, aren't all your weekends lately uneventful? yes, somewhat. let's look into that issue.]

Have I mentioned lately that you can listen to old recordings of ME on the radio via the In-ter-net? It's snazzy cool. Check it out HERE. Wicked Slick Radio. Rock the hIZouse with it, yo. If it doesn't work for you, throw a comment my way, and I might get inspired to set up a low-bandwidth stream.
posted by Gray at 2:19 PM | | link

Need to read this big ol' article about The Simpsons.
posted by Gray at 4:44 PM | | link

Thank you, Hoobastank, for helping me confirm that I have no interest in dating a girl with a bullring in her nose.

I saw The Time Machine for free tonight, thanks to Tor. It was certainly not the worst time travel movie ever made. That honor probably belongs to BEASTMASTER 2: THROUGH THE PORTAL OF TIME. Definitely worth my time and gas money, because hey...free movie. Amazing time-lapse goodness as we sped through hundreds and thousands of years. The time travel sequences themselves were the star of the movie for me. Also worth noting...it's fairly short -- barely an hour and a half -- adding to the feeling that the plot is a bit light. Anyway...not really worth more than matinee price. See it for cheap if you're into time travel.

The girl who watches the guy dump salt on his Six Dollar Burger in the Hardees commercial is quite the fantastically beautiful young thing.

I'm allowed to enjoy P.O.D., right? eh? These hosts of some kinda rock show on MTV are another matter altogether.
posted by Gray at 12:44 AM | | link

Obviously, someone at the candy factory knew that by simply putting these little Nutrageouses in a bright orange wrapper, they could make me want to eat them. Mission accomplished, candy makers.

...and I HATE IT when I make a mistake in sequencing a CD I'm burning and don't notice it 'til it's too late.

Oh well... free copy for someone else.
posted by Gray at 3:59 PM | | link

I have seen Ghost World, and it was good. If you enjoy smartass teenagers, Steve Buscemi, nunchuks and/or Scarlett Johansson's cool voice, it's worth your rental bucks. (not from Blockbuster, of course. they suck.)

Falling asleep in chair. Gonna go read. Over and out.
posted by Gray at 12:40 AM | | link

ATTENTION. ATTENTION. ACHTUNG. Another new DJ Shadow track from the forthcoming album, The Private Press. This one is called "Blood On The Motorway", and a link to an mp3 might be found in this very post...
posted by Gray at 5:16 PM | | link

I'm back. Hello ATL.
posted by Gray at 11:46 AM | | link

Ed, Elrond was obviously Agent Smith. I kept appending "Mr. Anderson" to all his lines in my head the first time I saw it. He's back in some form in The Matrix Reloaded, by the way. I doubt this is a spoiler... I'm sure we'll see him in commercials or trailers at some point. For me, Gimli was the tough one to spot. If I hadn't known who it was, I would have never guessed that there IS no museum of antiquities in Middle Earth, er Iskenderun.

My great aunt passed away last night at about 8pm EST. Basically my third grandmother all through my childhood. She used to tell me great made-up stories about UFOs and lights in the sky and stuff when we'd visit. Her house was always fun to visit... I always pestered her about smoking, though.

I have been asked to be a pallbearer. I've never done that before. So, I'll be gone for a couple of days, I guess. Somebody watch the fort while I'm gone, 'kay?
posted by Gray at 10:05 AM | | link

Only slightly creepy. [ Shadow Government ]
posted by Gray at 1:36 PM | | link