"My entire undergraduate tuition was not as much as one year of my dog's day care! Can you believe that? HAHAHAHA!" - someone I work with
posted by Gray at 11:01 AM | | link

From Edmunds.com:
"Even larger inside, even more powerful, even more fun to drive, the Altima has effectively done to the Camry what Kurt Russell's Tombstone did to Kevin Costner's Wyatt Earp. It's not that the 2002 Camry is a bad car...it's just that the 2002 Altima is better."

The vehicular equivalent of my favorite western? Someone knows how to woo me!
posted by Gray at 12:28 AM | | link

Janet Jackson must be some kind of sexy robot. Or perhaps she sold her soul to her brother for rock-hard abs. One of the two. Whatever works.
posted by Gray at 10:11 PM | | link

Sweet Jeebus, when did Don Henley's noggin grow to such an unnatural size? See illustration below:


What's he been feeding that thing? That Trisha Yearwood is a stout gal, but she'd better be careful. I think Don's Killer Cranium might be out for blood. Mojo was right.
posted by Gray at 9:04 PM | | link

Man, I hope nobody tells on me. Sounds like she did push things a bit... Thoughts?
posted by Gray at 11:37 AM | | link

I love the smell of Mountain Dew in the morning.

It's SNOWING outside. AGAIN. Enough with the winter, already. Bring on the reliable sunshine. Please?
posted by Gray at 8:36 AM | | link

Really going to bed now. Leaving the new Boards of Canada playing. I'll let you know if I dream about...Canadian boards.
posted by Gray at 1:24 AM | | link

Hot damn, it was totally worth being up this late, I just saw a video for "Highwayman" by The Highwaymen. Some kinda Johnny Cash-fest on CMT. No, I do not normally watch CMT, but when I see something involving Johnny, I'm sure gonna stop and watch it.

Anyway, not a bad video. I like that song a lot.

Also, Excalibur is a very long movie. Need sleep now.
posted by Gray at 1:05 AM | | link

If this page is to be believed, it would take 246.81 cans of Mello Yello to kill me.

Also, Ozzy gets his own sitcom-thing. The preview clip is very funny. Go watch it here.
posted by Gray at 1:53 PM | | link

It seems as if someone at Cartoon Network has seen fit to foil my Monday night teevee watching plans and remove Justice League and Samurai Jack from the schedule. Don't make me come down there to Williams Street and bust some heads...

I'm sitting here, trying to get settled in for an evening of... uh... sitting, and the phone keeps ringing. Car salesmen, nice friends of my mom, etc. Then my paternal grandma calls, and it's not until several minutes into the conversation that I realize why she's calling.

I had thought about it in the past couple of days, of course. The passing of Mr. Jones on Friday was like some sort of weird pre-emptive patriarchal retro-foreshadowing or some such muckamuck. But today was hectic. We're trying to finish a project. I was fairly busy. I have car repairs and car shopping on my mind. Not even a thought that today is the anniversary. Tonight, more precisely. About 2 and a half hours from now. Then it'll be a full year without my dad.

note: turning off Whose Line Is It Anyway? He hated that show.

I think I'll look at some pictures and listen to some Merle Haggard.
posted by Gray at 9:21 PM | | link

my laundry taunts me
spilling out of my closet
where's my robot maid?

-a hyperlinked haiku by Gray Whitten
posted by Gray at 12:27 PM | | link

Quite a badly-timed batch of car repairs I'm having to pay for right now. Just at the time that I was attempting to focus on saving a little cash for a down payment on something new, I've had to sink a ridiculous amount of said cash into a car that I don't plan to keep much longer. I'm just hoping (REALLY hoping) that I can get enough out of the Bonneville to make this whole ordeal worthwhile.

Discouraging, I tell ya.
Can I get a ______? Comments? Free candy? Salma?
posted by Gray at 1:56 AM | | link

Anyone who cares to buy me this can do so at any time. Thank you.
posted by Gray at 11:59 PM | | link

If you have the craptastical RealPlayer installed on your machine, click here to hear a very cool new track from Blackalicious.
posted by Gray at 10:36 AM | | link

Chuck Jones has passed away. He will never be forgotten. We'll always have "One Froggy Evening", "The Rabbit of Seville", "Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century" and countless other classic cartoons.
The man was a genius, and this is a crappy way to start the weekend.
posted by Gray at 9:45 AM | | link

Watching Swordfish again. Not quite as impressive on a little TV without big speakers. Note to self: get big TV and big speakers.
posted by Gray at 9:55 PM | | link

Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson write some of the funniest things ever to be put to film. Just the fact that they have created characters called Rowboat, Applejack, Pagoda and Dignan makes them a force to be reckoned with. Add some yellow jumpsuits and some CB radios into the mix, and WELL...you're talking world domination.

Oh, and K's gonna take over the world with ubercows. But I'm probably not supposed to say anything about that.
posted by Gray at 9:39 PM | | link

Continuing the robots thread, it seems that Cyberdyne's aesthetics department has made HUGE advances since 1992. Check out the new T-X model (to be seen in Terminator 3 in a year or so). I think all my reservations about the need for another Terminator film just disappeared.
posted by Gray at 8:53 PM | | link

Robots are funny.

There is a young lady on the Daily Show named Bethany McLean. She writes for Fortune Magazine. She is quite easy on my eyes. Bethany, if you're out there, uh *makes 'call me' motion with fingers*.

Not much going on tonight. I've been reading about cars and blaxploitation. What are you folks up to? *insert comment here*
posted by Gray at 1:29 AM | | link

Wow, this guy did not have a good day at work. It's called CODE RED, man. Look into it.
posted by Gray at 5:57 PM | | link

Mid-day gut-buster. This really cracked me up. [ VOLTRON ]
posted by Gray at 1:33 PM | | link

Sometimes you've just gotta strut.
posted by Gray at 12:39 AM | | link

I have found what appears to be an archived copy of the first web page ever.
posted by Gray at 12:20 AM | | link

If you've seen Fellowship of the Ring, you'll probably enjoy this wacky summary. If you HAVEN'T seen Fellowship of the Ring, I don't suppose you're ever going to get around to it...so read the summary anyway. Maybe it'll inspire you to get your buttocks into a nice theater while there's still a chance of seeing it one of the larger screens.
posted by Gray at 10:13 PM | | link

Returning to the topic of interstitial music that can be looped forever... fire up your Almost Famous: Untitled DVD and enjoy the strumming as the pseudo-filmstrip flickers on the screen.
posted by Gray at 6:24 PM | | link

The leader of North Korea needs a good smacking around by Sgt. Slaughter.
posted by Gray at 1:29 PM | | link

This is your daily What If? News Update. I don't see why they're bothering with all this theorizing. We already mostly know what colonists in the future will sound like....mostly.
posted by Gray at 12:42 PM | | link

O happy day! There is a tour for SCRATCH, and a soundtrack, too! Consume products! And see this movie if you get a chance. It rocks my socks.
posted by Gray at 11:29 AM | | link

From The A to Z of Britney:
"R is for the Republican Party, which dotes on Britney. During the election campaign in 2000, a Bush aide called her 'one of our greatest assets'. Bob Dole, also running for the Republication nomination, dosed himself with Viagra and appeared gloating lecherously in one of her Pepsi commercials. She sells herself as zealously as any politician: in the summer of 1998, she appeared at 26 shopping malls across America and, after one concert in Massachusetts, she managed to greet and pose for photographs with 300 family groups in only 25 minutes. It's this merchandising operation, swollen by deals with Sunglass Hut and Tommy Hilfiger as well as Pepsi, that the Republicans admire. Britney sometimes refers to 'my package'. By this, she does not mean the straining tops and jutting bottoms she wears but to her product profile, her demographic reach and her market penetration. Britney is global capitalism in a micro-mini."
posted by Gray at 11:24 AM | | link

Enough of the Hazzard County gag. I was immensely proud of myself for thinking it up, but the inspiration ran dry soon after. More car shopping today. Sometimes enjoyable and informative... but by the end of the day, it had sapped my will almost completely. Some good Mexican food and an evening of movies have rectified that situation somewhat, however.

So now I sit between mission in Colony Wars (still rockin' the old school PSX, yo), with the droning, cycling sounds that play when you're sitting between missions droning and cycling in the background. I have been known to leave ambient video game music like this going for long periods of time before, while I read or do something else in the room. I guess the constant pulse of technology soothes my silicon-based brain, even when I'm not actively plugged into a computer.

So, the Sebring is still interesting. Leaning towards the 4-door. Extra room is nice, and it's cheaper, to boot. Not sure about the Intrepid. Altimas are nice. Cars, in general, are too expensive. Who wants to be my sugar mama? Me love you long time.
posted by Gray at 12:48 AM | | link

Well if I didn't know better, I'd say that there might be some dern halfwits runnin' that FOX teevee network. The danged ol' fools haven't even ordered up a new season of Futurama... but it looks like the lights might not be out quite yet on that ol' pitcher-show. Ol' Roscoe ha'n't caught up to them Planet Express boys just yet!
posted by Gray at 8:49 PM | | link

Well I reckon it's been a purty good day today, what with Daisy gettin' the rent to the courthouse on time, and all the free candy bein' handed out everywhere you look. Uncle Jesse always used to say, there's only two things for sure in this world, and that's 1)Ya can't trust Boss Hogg for nothin', and 2)Gray Whitten will never pass up free candy. That's just how things are in Hazzard County.
posted by Gray at 9:22 PM | | link

In memory of the late, great Waylon Jennings, all posts for the foreseeable future (or at least a day or two) will be phrased in the form of a Dukes Of Hazzard narration. Please enjoy.
posted by Gray at 9:06 PM | | link

Damnit, when I get home after a horrid commute, I don't want to read something like "Country singer Waylon Jennings dies at his Arizona home" at the top of CNN.com.

God bless you, Waylon. See ya on the next highway.
posted by Gray at 7:39 PM | | link

Bruster's Banana Cream Pie ice cream is always a welcome taste-treat.

I guess I have a little more understanding for how hard it might be to master English when I'm greeting with something like "mMHawYOOdoo'ndada?" from a rotund, older gentleman in the bathroom. It's just fun to compare how we talk to how we should actually speak sometimes. Na'amsai'n?
posted by Gray at 2:27 PM | | link

Is this your CD collection? It got a grin out of me.
posted by Gray at 9:15 AM | | link

Two things:

1) Futurama may be cancelled. Discuss.

2) Official confirmation of the Back To The Future DVDs being in the works. Celebrate!
posted by Gray at 9:05 AM | | link

24 -- STILL AMAZING. I really enjoy this show. Loving the deep deep backstory stuff they're going into. Jack's history as an agent... much deeper ties to the storyline that we were first lead to believe. I'm such a sucker for a conspiracy theory...and this is a great one.

(and there aren't even any aliens involved)
posted by Gray at 9:47 PM | | link

"It's GENUINE...my leering is genuine." -Dave Letterman to Janet Jackson
posted by Gray at 12:17 AM | | link

Watching Four Rooms for the first time. Good fun throughout. Tim Roth is hi-larious. Rodriguez delivers the funny as usual. There's even a tiny slice of Salmalicious goodness for those who are paying attention. O Salma, where art thou?
posted by Gray at 9:58 PM | | link

What the funk? Blue french fries! A lot of the stuff in this article sounds like 100% CrazyTalk (tm), but I might have to go for some blue fries. Then we're headin' to TCBY for some Ample Amps!

Actually, the blue fries sound pretty weird, too, but I think I'm up for the challenge. Bring forth the sky-hued spud-sticks!
posted by Gray at 1:44 PM | | link

I need to finish reading Seanbaby on Terrorism later. Right now I have to listen to Bjork and work.
posted by Gray at 10:08 AM | | link

It seems that Mr. David Holmes will release a new CD called Come And Get It on February 11. Exxxcellent.... *tenting of fingers*
posted by Gray at 7:45 PM | | link

Lots of cars out there. We hit most of the dealerships in this part of town today... browsing and doing our best to avoid the attention of salesmen. I ended the day with cards from 3 of them in my pocket, nonetheless. One was cool and well-informed, one was a pushy loser who couldn't even answer my questions about the differences between the various models, and the third was somewhere in between.

So I know I want a...car. With wheels...and an engine of some sort. Actually, I'm really liking the look of the new Sebrings. Any opinions on 'em?
posted by Gray at 6:38 PM | | link

Cherry Treats: Porn Star or My Little Pony? Take the quiz. Find out.
posted by Gray at 11:42 PM | | link

Weekend! Alive and well, just not posting much. Must find a car. It also wouldn't hurt to box up/sell off some stuff this week. More on that later.
posted by Gray at 3:15 PM | | link

You may now refer to me as Mr. S. Buggy. [ link ]
posted by Gray at 1:45 PM | | link

The Plight of the White Boys.
posted by Gray at 12:47 PM | | link

Just in case some of you haven't had the email forwarded to you yet...

The Best Picture Ever
posted by Gray at 9:56 AM | | link

First issue... Heidi Klum. Wow...she bounces. Now that I have that out of the way...

Back from the Ian Moore show... the first solo acoustic show of his I'd ever seen. Beautiful stuff. The man is SUCH A TALENT, yet he just can't win in the radio/record contract game. There are some dirty, dirty bastards out there running the music industry. Maybe someday the right palm will get greased and the world will know the greatness of the Ian Moore Action Company. Any fans out there? Especially in Atlanta? That would blow my mind. Shout out if you exist.

Everlast and Rahzel performing "Children's Story" on Carson's show... entertaining stuff. Rahzel is a human Autobot.

Oh yeah... Fu Manchu. Obtained the new album today, including the 2-track bonus disc included at Best Buy. I am enjoying this disc. It's every great rock riff you've ever heard thrown in a big ol' blender and spun around on puree... or perhaps frappe (pronounced "FRAP" if I have anything to say about it). It's Van Halen. It's KISS. It's Sabbath. It's Urge Overkill. It's all these things at once, with lyrics about vans and cars and bikes and chicks and being wasted, and it vibrates a vehicle nicely when you crank it up loud. Give it a listen if you're like me and sometimes, you've just gotta ROCK.
posted by Gray at 2:01 AM | | link

Wow. THIS is really cool. If not for this page, I would have never known about the Alice/Dukes of Hazzard crossover episode!
posted by Gray at 8:46 PM | | link

I just love it when 'project creep' occurs in something unrelated to work... like car repairs. "Uh... yessir... you have got a broken transmission mount." Damnit, Wayne. More incentive to try to get a new car this time around instead of inheriting someone else's lemon, I guess.

Saw Moulin Rouge last night. Funnier than I expected. Much more high-tech-feeling than I expected (especially for a story set in 1900). Just a pretty cool movie all around. Ewan didn't even have to bust out his Jedi skillz in this one. Check it out if you like movies and you can tolerate musicals. The music wasn't as cool as the score to Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet, though. That rocks my ayce all night long.

The score, mind you... not that crappy Cardigans song. The score ruled. Soundtrack vol. 2.
posted by Gray at 3:25 PM | | link

Have you seen this?
posted by Gray at 4:07 PM | | link

Do you like robots? Do you have unanswered questions about life, liberty and the pursuit of pooty? GOD*JESUS has the answers you need!

[GOD*JESUS is a registered trademark of Bandai Corp. International and is not related to God or Jesus or StarBlazers.]
posted by Gray at 1:25 PM | | link

HOgaaaaaaaAAANNNN! Sweet. Somebody give me $100. I gots to buy something.
posted by Gray at 11:46 AM | | link

Apparently, one can find their way to this page by searching Google for "Al Roker pics". Well, if I've made any new friends in the Al Roker Fan Club, welcome to you, and all your chubby-lovin' cohorts.
posted by Gray at 11:09 AM | | link

Just out of curiosity, is there anyone out there in Atlanta reading this?
posted by Gray at 10:04 PM | | link

Well looky here, one more commenting system for me to have my way with. Maybe this one will last. How many times have you heard that now? Well, it seems to have been created by someone right here in good old ATL, GA, so I'm putting my faith in it.

So, comment away. I always appreciate 'em.
posted by Gray at 9:55 PM | | link

Commercials! Nice page. Looks like the Coens did that funny Tax Law spot. Check it out if you missed it. Make sure you watch the MiB II spot if you were tuned out after the game.
posted by Gray at 5:00 PM | | link

Still alive and well, just not greatly inspired to write anything. How's it going? New angle on the WorkCam today. Check it out.
posted by Gray at 3:33 PM | | link

Happy Commercials Day, everybody! Have fun bonding with friends and family and watching the most expensive commercials of the year. Try not to let that football crap interrupt the entertainment.
posted by Gray at 2:22 PM | | link

So it's time to start shopping for a new car. It looks like the best plan is to patch up the Bonneville with a used transmission of some sort (at a cost of ~$1100) and then try to sell it off before anything else has a chance to go wrong. Best case scenario, I can get ~$3000 out of it, since it really is a cool car... it's just beginning to show its age.

Therefore, I have to decide what I can afford that I'll enjoy somewhere near as much as I did the SB. Any suggestions?
posted by Gray at 5:53 PM | | link

Eh? Is this page busted?
Update: No, not completely. It was just loading very slowly for a day or so there... and the comments are broken yet again. Grrr! I'm now watching HEAT for the 2nd time in about 12 hours. Best.bank robbery.ever.
posted by Gray at 3:11 PM | | link

When in doubt, RTFM.
posted by Gray at 11:04 AM | | link

Music to my ears.
posted by Gray at 10:27 AM | | link